Happy Holidays!

Blog Nog

A quick note to wish you all a very Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year.

My computer has crashed completely, much distress and $$$..so i won't be able to pop by and visit you all for the next week..(unless theres another Christmas miracle) So have a good one..all of you.

Thank you all for your positive comments and all the love and concern which you have all given me so freely over the past year...I keep you all tucked safely in my heart!

Much love to you all!

On Thin ice

Last week when I was up in Sac, we spent an evening downtown and happened upon this quaint little ice rink.

I was drawn to quiet sounds of it. The whoosh of skates on ice was clearly audible in-spite of the Christmas music playing. Lights dripped from the surrounding trees. People don't seem to talk much either as they concentrate on performing a feat a little unfamiliar, or else they immerse themselves in the process if they are.

Children skating, falling, picking themselves up, soft laughter of those in groups each holding up the other.

A far cry from Africa at this time of year.

This is how you get lipstick on your collar

When

you watch me

pout and purse

and spread the colour evenly

and still you pull me close

you see me ease my lips together and smudge and smear and grin ~

and yet you rumple up my hair and lean in for to kiss

my throat instead of patient lips

honey that is how

If you had kissed my lipstick mouth

and not just pulled me in

you would not now have lipstick

on your collar

or your chin

oOo

Love's Compass

There's much to be said about our little community of blog world.. so many of our lives have been changed forever by places, people and things discovered here, as though they had been tucked away and hidden from us on purpose, only being revealed by the click of a mouse or a keyboard.

There are pitfalls though. Hidden beneath reams of heady words, poetry, songs and the touch of sentiment lie real people real pulsating hearts. We are all stirred by words, stilled by platitudes, roused by poems that rock our souls accepting them at face value never quite sure if they are real or a figment of the writers own (narcissistic) imagination, or ours.

Its difficult to tell what is real, and what we fill in with our own yearnings and desires. The one dimensional feel we get for people here can never be everything that the person actually is, and lets face it some folk online have an uncanny knack of making this their reality.

Ive done it myself, my long distance relationship here with K was testimony to that very fault. I fell in love with his words, and thought his writing was who he was, I was wrong, but by then it was too late. My heart was already entwined within his creative soul and my, that heart endured years of constant bruising as my reality and his unrealistic perceptions bumped and bashed their way painfully to a cruel conclusion.

The distance worked for and against us in many ways too, allowing us real time together yet still allowing us space to perpetuate the fantasy, as much as I wanted to think of a future together he refused to discuss it in any real practical way.

Now some months later, I find myself attracted to another. Having met here on multiply and having both been through the wringer as it were, we were both aware at how the internet allows us to 'fill in stuff' how we both could quite easily make the other someone we wanted them to be, and not really the person they truly are. So after a few emails, and not having read each others blogs (that we did later) we decided we should meet first and become blog friends afterwards if we wanted to. It was the right thing to do. Suddenly there was a real person sitting in my living room, not just a screen full of words, there was real skin to touch and real eyes to look into, a neck to nuzzle and strong arms to shut out the world. We are both very realistic romantics though, we know the pitfalls of this, the dangers of distance and being apart, we feel it daily, but we also know there is something deep here, something truly special and its based on reality and a profound sense of trust and togetherness, kindness and a wonderful sense of fun.

Tomorrow we are meeting halfway for a few days, wanting nothing more than to share time and real space as we grow and get to know each other out there in the real world.

Dancing in the Dark

Saying good-bye to Rosi

(rosi is in blue on the far right)

Today I am driving through snow covered mountains to Santa Barbara, to say good bye to my dear friend Rosi. She is returning to New Zealand on Thursday after living here in the US for a number of years...I am going to miss her so much...

Here I love You

Here I love you.

In the dark pines the wind disentangles itself.

The moon glows like phosphorus on the vagrant waters.

Days, all one kind, go chasing each other.

The snow unfurls in dancing figures.

A silver gull slips down from the west.

Sometimes a sail. High, high stars.

Oh the black cross of a ship.

Alone.

Sometimes I get up early and even my soul is wet.

Far away the sea sounds and resounds.

This is port.

Here I love you.

Here I love you and the horizon hides you in vain.

I love you still among these cold things.

Sometimes my kisses go on those heavy vessels

that cross the sea towards no arrival.

I see myself forgotten like those old anchors.

The piers sadden when the afternoon moors there.

My life grows tired, hungry to no purpose.

I love what I do not have. You are so far.

My loathing wrestles with the slow twilight's.

But night comes and starts to sing to me.

The moon turns its clockwork dream.

The biggest stars look at me with your eyes.

And I love you, the pines in the wind

want to sing your name with their leaves of wire.

Pablo Neruda

Picture Perfect - Emotions in Monochrome

Gary is our
Picture Perfect Host this week
Emotions in Monochrome
was one theme I just could not miss

oOo


Contentment

Early morning sunlight on words spoken in your soft voice heard only by me

Awakening

The vast journey from sleep to that soft transfer of thought is the most poignant time of the day. That time where dreams become memory become reality and where nothing I do could possibly hide me from the true state of my heart. Where my soul and my body are mine for this brief moment, every square inch of all their years belong to me.

Sleep leaves and before I open my eyes the slow ghosts of change enhance the loss, new encounters wash over me, seep into my soul and fill me to the brim. I hover here until the light lifts the mist and the brief perfection is loved into absence.

This and That

Ohh the past weeks have been rather hectic. Ive had visits from all kinds of family, and its been absolutely wonderful. Nic and the visit to Vegas was great, so nice to have someone else (with a GPS) to do the driving which allowed me the liberty of taking pictures without risking life and limb, we had some wonderful meals and the show of course was fabulous.

My cousin and his wife came down from San Fransisco over the weekend. We figured out we hadn't seen each other for almost 15 years, they have a darling little boy called Jack. Motor mouth with a strong will all acquired by the tender age of two, he had us all in hysterics..loved having his photo taken which was quite adorable. They are all going home to SA for Christmas, so yayyy..they get to take all my Christmas pressies!! It felt so good to catch up on all their travels (more than mine even) and their listen to their dreams for the future. They are such a solid couple..it was great spending time with them all.

The time just seems to be flying, life is busy and happy Ive met an amazing array of wonderful people, from co-workers to new hairdresser, all have been so warm and welcoming!

Cirque du Soleil and the magic of 'O'

Beneath that magic though is an undeniable sense of danger and the constant thought of how many hours, weeks, months of training it must of taken to reach this level of expertise, interwoven with just the right amounts of humour and bizarre choreography...it captivates!
The expertise of the dancers and acrobats doing death defying maneuvers high off the ground is just breathtaking, and I found myself thinking (spoiled by tv and movies as we are) that there has to be some trick, or special effects to this...and while they do work with some amazing props, the stunts and aerial displays are all theirs.
I loved the main character, Eugen. He was both the guide and the guardian of the theatre. Strong, yet vulnerable, this aging theatre manager knows all and provoked us to see the dark side of “O”. His ghostly orchestrations took us on a timeless journey through different worlds as he made his own transformation from dark to white. He embodied the cyclical part of life where everything old becomes new again. His final act, playing a beautiful steel piano as it disappeared beneath the water!!
And the clowns how can one forget the tragic humour of those clowns, they moved me so, but I was never sure if I was going to laugh..or weep.
The title of Cirque du Soleil "O" comes from the phonetic spelling of the French word for water, "eau" which seems obvious but it surprised me...

Cirque does what theatre is meant to do, inspire our imaginations and touch our hearts
oOo
(Some technical information:
Heaters under each seat help control the theatre temperature for the audience; the goal is to maintain two temperature zones in the theatre. The stage is kept at a higher temperature while the audience area is kept at a lower temperature. A temperature sensor every few seats in the theatre helps ensure the audience area is maintained at the correct temperature.
To minimize damage to the musical instruments, the musicians and their instruments play from glass enclosures in the theater. Some of the musical instruments used in the show are more than 100 years old. The unique string instrument heard in the soundtrack of O is an erhu traditional Chinese bowed string instrument
To maintain a fresh look on the performers, some performers have multiple sets of costumes so they may reappear dry despite having been in the water.
The show has a cast of 85 acrobats, synchronized swimmers, and divers performing in and above a 1.5 million-gallon pool. The pool is kept at 88 degrees Fahrenheit (31 degrees Celsius) and has an underwater communication system and regulators that allow performers to breathe underwater)

Picture Perfect ~ One One Out

Picture Perfect

is a weekly photo contest

the theme this week

Odd One Out

anyone can particpate, just leave a link to your picture at

Picture Perfect

the contest runs from Friday morning to Sunday midnight

oOo

This was taken two weeks ago in Newport Beach CA., from our little dingy as we puttered from my sister and (almost) brother in law's boat, on our way to have dinner on the wharf. It was taken with my trusty Canon Rebel DSLR at twilight, the picture has not been altered in anyway.

oOo

Undone

What doesn't change

is the memory of warmth

the soft trail of suggestion

in absent-mindedly trailing

a hand across your arm

Gently touching hair and further up

a scar of which I know nothing

and dare not ask

I cannot tell the difference

you see

between the dream

And the reality

its become the inter mingled

blur

of a red hummingbird's wings

The dream erupts

in my waking eye and

spreads across

My undone horizon

as I languish for those

first minutes

savouring the slight

gesture of your hand

in the half light

which may have read

future

Painting the Town Red

Yayy.. we have tickets to see Circ du Soleil in Vegas, after working a week I now have 8 off.

Nic arrives tomorrow.... lucky lucky me!!

Happy Birthday Josh

Happy 13th Birthday Josh..

now youre a man!!!

Grins...

Anchors Aweigh as Blue sets Sail

The bon voyage party was memorable, so filled with emotion. Happiness, wistfulness and so much love, as friends and family gathered around to wish them well on their journey south.

Kelly and I drove down (in separate cars, which turned out to be a godsend) on Friday, and spent the night in a gorgeous hotel The Avia which is within walking distance of the Springbok Bar and where Blue was moored. The shops along the board walks called my name and who was I to refuse..well we had fun with our camera's anyhow! There is something quite magical about watching the sun set through the masts of boats...

Reflections are everywhere, of sun, cloud and sky, glass buildings.. the quietness of it all was mesmerizing

As the noise in the bar increased, a few of sought refuge on Blue, where we shared a special bottle of Blue's Red, a unique blend bottled by Nev and Maggie for their trip.

We also shared a few of these:

a potent liquor shot called The Springbok, well.. it may look like a springbok, but it has the bite of a mamba!!

Kelly and I were invited to sail the next leg of the trip with them the following day, so we made a quick trip down to Newport Beach, dropped off my car and then came hurtling back in Kelly's, just in time to have breakfast with the crowd, take a few more pics, and cast off.

She looked so serene sitting there in the morning light

A few diehards stayed to see us sail

and slowly we watched Long Beach disappear in the distance

The sail down to Newport Beach was calm and sunny, it gave us some quiet time together and my sister who is the process of writing an article for a sailing mag, read to me from her journal, it is so beautifully written I really have no doubt it will make the pages of some glassy magazine!! I do see a book coming out of this whole adventure too.

and then it was time for lunch-wine Newport Beach is luxury itself, with spectacular houses along the edge of the waterway, and beautiful boats moored in front of each. However we did spot a few really old boats (and owners) who looked as though they hadnt seen land in years..or fresh water...quaint though, and it all adds to the flavour of sea life.

Maggie and Nev then dropped anchor, and lowered the dinghy, and then we puttered into the harbour for dinner at Woody's, fabulous food and a real racaus crowd.

I must say I felt quite a wrench when I looked back at Blue sitting quitely in the evening sun. I waved good bye and silently wished her well.

It was dark by the time we said our goodbyes and watched them chug back to Blue and the start of their adventure, a trip of a lifetime.

Bon Voyage to two really special people, may you savour every minute of every day!!

You can link to their blog here: Lucky Fish, and watch their progress on their map

How nurses get their H1N1vaccine...

Painting and Ponderings

I've spent much of my mini vacation, paint splattered! I unpacked slowly and finding new homes for my little collectibles was kinda fun. A new place often gives new life to our things, including me...

(The picture above is what the room looked like before, and this the one below as it is now. Still incomplete but looking better...)

For the first time in many years I have an art room again, place to leave messy and untidy until the project is complete. I love that. I painted it green for a change, lol..the last time I had a green room anywhere in my house was a lime green kitchen in the early 80's...

At first I thought the colour looked way too tame for me, but as I hung pictures and little memento's the room took on a life of its own, and I'm loving the splashes of purple as a contrast. Will post a pic up once its completed and the curtains are up.
This is my view across the back yard from my new little art room. I just love it!

Triple Play ~ Teddy Bear

Teddy Bears are for the child within us

(eventually too much reading can exhaust even the most ardent listener)

Poetry Posses ~ Nonet

A nonet consists of nine lines. The first line is comprised of nine syllables and each succeeding line then has eight, seven, six, five, four, three and two syllabes, and of course the last line is but one syllable.

Poetry Posse

oOo

The morning fog makes the wet trees creak

I feel the heaviness of it

as drips begin from up high

and crash down through huge leaves

high above my head

they land loudly

at my feet,

splashing

both

Ten Thought Tuesday

1. Picking through the past 2 years of my life here, has been tougher than I ever envisioned, no matter where or what I've been through its been hard doing things for the last time, memories are triggered by the smallest of things. It just hasn't been an easy letting go..

2. Neville and a friend are kindly doing the removals tomorrow morning early...I hope they have a good hearty breakfast beforehand...

3. I'm having lunch with as many of the girls from work who can make it, we planned on meeting on the beach in a little cafe that does the most superb seafood..looks like it will be a much cooler tomorrow than today though. I may need to revisit my wardrobe choice...

4. Today was punctuated by neighbours visits, saying goodbyes, giving me hugs and generally standing around chatting, offering me a cheap excuse to rest for a while...it was nice...

5. I had takeouts for two meals today, all my pots and pans are packed and the fridge is near empty...lol..at least no dishes to do..

6. I get a free coffee tomorrow from my favourite little coffee cabin..my card has ten punches on it..yayy

7. I will miss the ocean and the early morning mist, and the bells which chime on the hour on the little village green...

8. I will miss the sounds, smells and colour at the weekly farmers market...

9. I will miss the walks Senga and I enjoyed everyday so very much, the farm views, the village folk and their cries of 'oh look there's a scottie', ice cream at the corner shops on a hot summers day, and the crisp clear views of the snow capped mountains in winter...

10. I confess to weeping a fair bit today...

Let the River Run

Reflecting

reflecting

looking through

looking back

remembering all other times

my shadow fell on glass

and with whom

To the end of the world...

My sister Maggie and her beloved Nev are all ship shape and ready for their big trip. They leave in two weeks...we plan to party on the dock at the Springbok Bar down at Long Beach next saturday, (its a good old South African pub)..and then as the sun sets, wave them off as they set sail on their world cruise. First stop Mexico and the fishing grounds of the Sea of Cortez....
I love this song, it reminds me of them....

Gary's Triple Play ~ Circle of Life

From the day we arrive on the planet

And blinking, step into the sun

There's more to see than can ever be seen

More to do than can ever be done

Painted Horse

I received this email from my 9yr old grand daughter yesterday:

Dear Nani

I can't go on to the computer and play during the week because I have too much schoolwork. Can you look after my horse for me?

Olivia

thankyouloveyou

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

How can you resist a face like this....

So I have dutifully fed and watered this virtual horse, stroked it, observed how much poop its passed and put it to bed..in a stall!!

Here is the address

www.howrse.com

Being a Dandelion

okay...
so Im intimidated. and it's more than a bit overwhelming, but really,
it's just another place more opportunity,
more people,
more experiences to make me grow, i mean..just think
if I used all of that intimidation,
all of that fear would there be a limit to all that one could do?

I really don't think so.
because,

really,
life
is just a field
of dandelions
and we're
meant to disperse.....

A Visit from Home

The one thing I miss about being with the people I've grown up with, those who have known me forever, family or good friends, co-workers..whatever, is that you don't have to explain who you are or where you've been, no need to re-tell life experiences or describe an event.. because they already know it all and the joy is they love you anyway.

We had such a wonderful surprise when my cousin and her husband came to the US a couple of weeks ago...he presented a paper in Vegas on the economic rewards of higher education (hope I'm right on the title Alex??) They spent just one day and night with us, but we packed a whole lot of living in those few hours, showed pictures of children not seen by others for far too long, shared gardens now grown, and recalled incidents and memories only family would know.

And then the best thing was that they would take a small special package from me, all the way back with them and give it to my daughter..from my hands to theirs..to hers.

It felt good!

Silent Sunday

silent but for the words..

'it was the neighbours house ..'

Portraits of Platforms

Like ships out at sea, these oil rigs or platforms, lie out at sea off the coast of Santa Barbara. As I drive to and from work at various times of day (and night) I prefer to half close my eyes and think of them as far more exciting pieces of flotsam, such as pirate ships lurking in the darkness, or, when the lights are on...big liners with super rich passengers drinking champagne as they sit on deck with cashmere sweaters the wind blowing wisps of hair across their made up faces... and if I try really hard I can almost smell the cigars which burn and glow in the twilight...

There are currently 20 platforms in the Santa Barbara Channel producing oil and gas, 15 in federal waters and one in state waters off shore of Santa Barbara County and another four offshore of Ventura County.

For more pictures see here:

http://www.flickr.com/photos/docsearls/sets/72057594090570230/

Unchain my Heart ~ Joe Cocker

One of my all time favourites....

Skabenga

So after all the polls and input..lol.. this is the new kitty's name: Skabenga...which means devil cat in Zulu....or 'holy terror, be afraid be very afraid, or monster'..in English..

chuckles, personally I think he is wayyy to cute to be bad!

Triple Play ~ Cottonfields

innocent white balls of fluff

peek through coats of brown

and spill out eagerly into our world

A Well Mannered Storm

The weather has been broody all day here in Southern Cali.

We're a little obsessed with rain here and so we should be, water is a precious commodity in these parts. So when the clouds gather close and dark, squeezing out the light..we sit and hope for even a sprinkle of rain.

Luckily for us the clouds delivered and it has rained on and off all day washing all the dust off houses, removing the leaves that waited passively to be released from the bondage of high branches and sending rainwater scuttling down in little streams along the road side.

Afterwards the mists lifted and water gathered in little puddles on all surfaces seemingly reluctant to leave...

..of course I forgot to bring in my cushion..