Ipi NTombi

The foyer lights lights flash almost as soon as we arrive, I stare in amazement at the lifesize oil paintings of the Nguni cattle for which the area is well known, in fact the school has their own herd and these paintings were taken from pictures of that herd. Their colours are unique and their gentleness seems tangible as I walk around and touch each one.

The children are bubbling with excitement at being allowed to stay up this late on a school night, the theatre is packed and we make our way slowly to our assigned seats. The quiet buzz of conversation is suddenly interrupted by the rhythmic pounding of African drums as a host of dancers and warriors burst in from the back and make their way through the audience to the stage. Tears prick my eyes as the rawness of the African beat touches my soul, we clap and the women ululate with joy.

One scene flows into the next as the tale of love and disappointment of renewal and returning to ones roots, unfolds. its about the conflict between a young mans cultural beliefs and the coming of the white man, the harsh rural life and the even harsher life in the city.

The stage is filled with the soulful singing of the maiden who has had to see her lover leave, and then explodes into the colour and noise of the city sheebeen, the dancing whips us into a frenzy. First the slow seductive dancing of the shebeen and then the lively gumboot dancing of the miners. Its a riveting production which has us roaring with laughter and (me) crying with the sheer beauty of it all.

We leave the theatre trancelike, even the children have been profoundly touched..I look up at the blackness of the African sky and bright Southern Cross and I know they will never forget this night. Neither will I.

A Whole Lotta Bull

The fist leg of the journey has begun, and surprisingly I find myself spending the night in the VIP lounge at LAX airport. My flight only leaves at 6am and I had to catch the last bus out of Bakersfield (after leaving Senga with my mom) at 6pm so i thought why not spoil myself.

The views from here are wonderful, planes landing and taking off at frequent intervals and the quiet buzz of people coming and going, sigh.. the stuff airports are made of.

My drive over to Bakersfield was almost without incident, until I stopped to let S out for a run. I turned off onto a dirt road on a nearby farm, clambered out of the car and let her loose. She was beside herself with joy after being cooped up in the car all morning while I ran around and finished off a few last minute things which just had to be done.

She took off like a rocket into the bush, and I was about 200m from my car when I noticed the cows lying under the trees in the distance, she thought she had died and gone to heaven, her passion for dangerous domestic animals knows no bounds. That was until I saw Mr Bull stand up and start shuffling in our direction, S was thrilled..a friend. me, not so much.

I called, she continued on her quest, Mr Bull shuffled a little faster and then I really yelled. She must of heard the panic in my voice and saw me running back to the car, she thought this was the bestest game ever .. lets catch mommy while she runs/hobbles back to the car in high heeled sandals. (I have been known to sacrifice old folk and small children in times of mortal danger, another story for another time a story which allude to rhino tracking and an encounter with a blue crane....)

Meantime Mr Bull is gaining ground, I'm running, S is barking, dust everywhere, I skid back into the car, leap in and she runs under the car. I swear I never thought that animal (now) thundering towards me would stop in time, I clamber over into the passenger seat and open the other door and haul her in by the scruff of her neck. She is totally excited by now, barking at the window while I'm frantically trying to start my car and get the heck out of Dodge...

Other than that the drive was, as I said, quiet. And no, I didnt get any pictures!
night night x

Undone

Its slow to change
a memory of warmth
the soft trail of suggestion
an absent-minded trailing
of a hand across your arm
gently touching hair and further
a scar of which I know nothing
and dare not ask
I cannot tell the difference
you see
between the dream
and the reality
its become the inter mingled
blur
of a red hummingbird's wings
the dream erupts
in my waking eye and
spreads across
my undone horizon
as I languish for those
first minutes
savouring the slight
gesture of your hand
in the half light
which may have read
future

Eternity

With children, love arrives and with that comes future memories of pleasure and extreme happiness and so too comes ancient histories of pain. Yet if we as parents are bold in that love, strong in our convictions that this truly is one of life's rare forms of unconditional love in the world, and dare to be brave in the face of tragedy and loss when suddenly we see that love costs us all that we are, and yet lasts for all eternity.

When my soul is weary and my heart creaks from the heaviness of living without you, when I cry hot bitter tears for the loss of you and the missing becomes overwhelming, I am filled with the love your memory brings. My ears are filled with the sound of your deep laughter and your sheer joy of life when you lived it. My eyes find the beauty of your lovely face, my mouth speaks your name and my fingers touch your skin with all its familiar marks and blemishes as though it were yesterday.
For as long as the stars and the moon rise and the sun shines upon fish. As long as rain drips through trees and forms deep rivers which run south upon my face. From now until then, forever and always for the longest longest time..all our hearts will be filled with so much love for you Jono.
Happy Birthday my child....

Spreading my Wings

The past few weeks have been a mad busy time, with little time for personal blogging.

As some of you know I am now working two jobs, running two other blog sites, (which I love doing and find so rewarding and totally relaxing, but which do take up loads of time...) I have a dog, who is wonderful affectionate and pretty demanding of my attention..I have a deep and intimate relationship with TIVO, the beach, my meadow walks and my bed..in that order. A wonderful friendship with a neighbour who walks my dog on the nights that I work, a Doggy Day Care who keep her smart little doggy brain on the go during the day so that I can sleep..and then go to work in peace knowing my house won't be a scene of destruction when I get back, because frankly she just is too tired to muster up the energy to chew anything.

In the midst of this crazy time, I lost my wallet. I rewound my day frantically in my weary mind and eventually traced it back to the table at a local cafe where I had stopped to get a smoothie..its a long long story which involves two days of near hysteria and turning the house upside down before calming down and retracing my footsteps.

The reason for the hysteria was that beside all my bank cards, drivers licence, gift cards from various stores which I had received for Christmas and hadn't used yet, was my precious permanent residence card (Green Card...which we have been told to always carry around with us) Yep it took me two days figure out where I had left it, and then a tense night at work before being able to stop off there the next morning and ask the owners if by some miracle, someone had handed in my purse

.
My flight back home is booked and confirmed... a blissful three weeks with my precious and amazing family. I leave on the 16th April...and yes I found my purse, someone did hand it in with everything intact. Without the residence card I wouldn't have been allowed back in the US, and, I later learned, it takes them a year to process a replacement! My card is now locked up safely, with my passport and to hell with rules.

We have booked into Malala Lodge for a few night of luxury at a private game park on the outskirts of the Hluhluwe Game Reserve, we have tickets to see Ipi Tombi and a yearning to visit the Midlands Meander on a daily basis...

I am planning a diet of biltong, Ouma rusks and Ricoffy, Roses Lime marmalade on my toast, Weetbix, Jungle Oats and a few Peppermint Crisps, top that off with regular viewings of Rugby, Carte Blanche and a dash of 5FM in between..sighs, pure South African bliss !! At last I too, will understand and be understood.

I fly out of Lax, via Washington DC on the 16th..and if you see the shadow of my wings as I pass overhead, wave... and wish me a sturdy vomit bag and a quiet travel companion!!