Africa

I woke this morning so desperately homesick. Thank you Gael for sending me this, it is posted on her site but Ive borrowed it....

Happy Birthday Jess!!

I know its not the 30th June here in the US yet, but I wanted you to read this when you woke, in the midst of friends and family.

How did you get from baby to little girl? From scrawny teenager to wife, mother and best friend? How did you grow inside with so much grace, amidst the turmoil and pain of life? How did you endure and strive and get to be you?

I write this in the evening of a steaming Californian summers day, I cant help but be so incredibly proud of who and what you are, you know that...I think back on all the memories we share and know how blessed we all are to have you in our lives and not a day goes by without me feeling grateful.

Enjoy your day my darling girl, have a safe trip back home to your own, they are so incredibly lucky to have your company, give those precious kids and husband of yours a special huggggg and a kiss from me, and Lynn, Warren and baby Tessa too...

Much love to you Jess, my daughter, my best friend, and have a Happy Happy Birthday.

I miss you every day my girl

Mom xxxx

From Here to Neverland...

..which is only 10 miles from my house?

It took me all of 15 minutes to drive over to Los Olivos and down the road to the ranch. The drive there is beautiful, along curling oak lined roads through the rolling Californian hills.

I went straight from work this morning, and for at least ten minutes I was the only person there, well me and a few happy Californian cows grazing nearby that is.

I certainly wasnt expecting it to be an emotional visit. However with his music playing quetly in the background I wandered around and read some of the cards on the now wilting flowers, some of them moving personal tributes all acknowledging his enormous talent.. and I was moved, for no matter the controversy which may have touched his life, his music and dance and his songwriting abilities will be remembered far longer than all the years he lived.

I took pictures in solitude until another couple arrived, we took pictures of each other, posed pictures for prosperity, something to show our children and grandchildren perhaps.

I tucked a small flower into the wreath on the gate and drove home just as a stream of cars began pulling up.

Memories of Mexico

I spend my first night in Denver, a cheap flight allows me a stop over in the opposite direction to where I want to go, but I revel in the greenery of the city and the gorgeous sunrise as I languish in a luxurious hotel room for the night. My luggage goes onward to Mexico without me and I arrive in San Jose the next day in clothes a day old, however, cleanly washed underwear, a hot shower and soft bed all but make up for the small inconvenience.

Harriet and Ben are waiting for me when I land, leaning against their favourite pillar with ice cold drinks nearby..just as they promised. We head for the car and on to a local restaurant for lunch. I order, or rather Harriet orders, grilled sea bass in fluent Spanish, and then we wander through the gardens, lush even in the heat of summer, mangoes drip off the trees and skinny wild cat eyes us suspiciously from under a nearby tree.

The vibrant colours of Mexico are evident everywhere.

The land unfolds before us to let us pass and then folds back up behind us once more, the heat rises up in waves and washes over me leaving beads of moisture on my skin, soon my clothes are dampened and my hair trails and clings to the back of my neck.

We stop to take some pictures as soon as we near the ocean, the view is breathtakingly beautiful, the sea an incredible aquamarine.

Ben lugs my suitcase up the stairs to my room and I realize I have the best views in the house!

I unpack, and melt into my very first siesta....

My cup runneth over

but not in a good way

Shallow Waters

The misty water coloured memories of times and places that seem happier now when I recall them than then, memories which bind me to people and places, often for a lifetime. I know too that often the memory of my heart is not quite as reliable as my head, it lets me down at times.

How often are we forced or encouraged to take a different direction in life, whether its through illness or a job change, a marriage or separation. How hard it is to throw ourselves full tilt into a new endeavour, to wade out of shallow waters past the flotsam and into the deep of the unknown and unfamiliar, and still maintain our dignity and self respect, and not allow our memories to overwhelm us.

Memories can keep me rooted to the spot, as good as they may be on many levels they shouldn't have the power to stop me growing and evolving, leave me unfulfilled in the present or squish my soul. I can't let them.

Hola Amigo's

Yep its finally going to happen this week I am heading down to Mexico to visit Ben and Harriet. We have tried for the longest time to co-ordinate our schedules (mostly my fault) and have finally got it together!!

Thanks to Ben in advance for keeping the boat in the water a little while longer.. I PROMISE to scrape barnacles off that boat for you, and to Harriet for keeping the decaf coffee brewer unpacked and unplugged just for me.

Hmmm.. did I tell you I dont speak Spanish? Well just enough to get someone through childbirth..maybe!

Roll on Saturday!

and a little something to get us all in the mood...

Picture Perfect ~ Light

The

Picture Perfect

theme this week is

LIGHT

Who knew I would have so many 'light' pictures, and that making a choice would be this difficult. After perusing through my collection I decided to post something a little different.

Random acts of Kindness

A sudden spatter of rain was just ending as I pulled into the parking lot of the grocery store earlier this afternoon. I skirted puddles as I hurried inside, dumping my handbag into the shopping cart. Half asleep I ambled past the display of pears and apples and halloween paraphenalia, and almost collided with a pretty elegant, much older lady, quietly doing her shopping and minding her own business..I apologized, she smiled and I hurried on.

Not ten minutes later I rounded an aisle and noticed her at the other end, a small gathering of people surrounded her. I edged closer. She had a trickle of blood running down her cheek and someone was dabbing it ineffectively with a kleenex. She had apparently reached up for a tin of something and pulled another down on top of herself. The irony was that she has reached for the that tin on the top shelf for a youngster who couldnt reach. He was standing a little to the side looking a little dumbstruck.

The nurse in me surfaced through the grogginess of too little sleep, which had I must admit slowed my thinking up somewhat. I moved forward and checked the small cut above her eye, her fragile skin had torn easily but it looked worse than it was. I had some wet wipes with me and her small wound cleaned up easily. She was stunned, a little embarrased and smiled sheepishly as I tended her and asked if she was ok..

Suddenly I felt tears prickle. From the corner of my eye I noticed the teenager opening a bandaid which he had obviously got off a shelf from somewhere in the store. We all stood quietly by as he painstakingly tore the bandaid out of its wrapper, reached up and stuck it gently in place...

It was the sweetest thing ever..

Sunday Afternoon

Yesterday evening I took drive out to Lompoc (pronounced Lom-poke) and then walked through the estuary

and climbed up the hill so that I could see the whole of the valley below the beach, and sea beyond

.

I watched the seagulls wheel and scream and two dolphins play in the breakers, while Senga was on an eternal hunt for lizards.

celery and sweetpeas

I drove back through the crops of flowers and veggies and was home before dark...

Camera's, Dogs and Eagles

The story of my lost camera needs to be told I guess, its nothing terribly exciting I just feel embarrassed that I did such a silly thing. Two weeks ago I went to see Demons and Angels, I love Dan Browns books and Tom Hanks is a bit of okay too, I settled down into my seat and because I was a little early, alone and the the place was pretty empty I took out my camera and started fiddling with it..then when the movie started I thought it would be pretty cool to take a pic of Tom Hanks on the big screen, which I did..and..sobs.. never put my camera back into my handbag properly, its a soft floppy handbag and the camera must of fallen out the moment I picked it up. I went back the next day and asked if anyone had seen it, did a search around my seat myself with a torch, but no one has handed it in. As a last resort I have also put an ad in the local paper, but I don't hold out much hope.

Anyhow, today I went out and bought myself my very first SLR camera, a gorgeous Canon Rebel, it was extravagant I know and I may well be asking for food parcels to be sent my way before the month is out, but oh the joy of having a really nice camera is quite thrilling, I haven't quite figured out all the knobs, gadgets and settings, but Ive learnt how to focus and take the lens cap off..so bear with me as I learn!

The pics here are ones I took this afternoon. The sun was setting as we strolled around the farm, we went to see the horses and then I spotted an eagle circling, looking for the little prairie dogs of which there are hundreds. The moment Senga moved though, it made a beeline for her, and I was left wondering if I should shoo it off or get the picture of a lifetime...(kidding, really..as if) the bird however soon realized its intended prey was a little large and had teeth and it backed off. I was fascinated how it circled, always keeping the sun behind it so we were blinded, making it impossible to get a really good shot.

and then it spotted Senga and wheeled around to get a closer look

she gave chase (??) but it flew off behind the trees

It was getting dark by the time we finished our trail, dusty and exhausted..I think we shall both sleep well tonight!

PillowTalk

Bella never quite makes it back to her bed after going to the bathroom in the night, or early morning.

I hear her door open, the pitter patter down the hall, and then back again, she pauses at my door (but not for long) opens it as quiet as a mouse and then together with her bear, she slips slowly and silently into my bed.
I lie quietly...so does she, soon she can keep quiet no more and she turns towards me in the pale half light of morning, her fingers curl in my hair as she kisses my cheek.

'I love you Nani' she whispers,
'I love you too' I whisper back, not opening my eyes.

Silence

'Do you know how much I love you?' another whisper..

'How much?' I ask

'From the trampoline..... alllll the way to the big tree' she says loudly

'Wow' I open my eyes,

'thats a lot'

'I know' she replies,

as she slips her hand around my neck and snuggles closer.

A Quiet Fire

Heated love requires so much

frantic pawing energy,

and lust does not heed the shards left

imbedded within, as it

disregards the mismatch, the potential for pain

Give me a love which is slow to ignite

a quiet fire which burns

and smoulders at night

Give me a pillow and fill it with words

and allow me to savour

thoughts yet to be heard

Funny the way it is

This is what Im loving right now, love the sound of Dave Mathews Band always, but the words are just so thought provoking..listen and love it with me!